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3. Before Saying I Do

 

In this article we present you with 100 questions that you can share with your soon-to-be spouse before you tie the knot.

 

So! You love each other very, very much and are contemplating the idea of getting married. Before saying "I do" it is a good idea to make sure that you and your partner have discussed important aspects of your relationship. Below you will find some other basic questions that you can answer about your partner and your relationship. Maybe you already have the answers to all of them, but if not, it’s always better to share this list with your future husband/wife to see if you are both in agreement with most of these issues.  No one will always agree on everything, but the important thing is to know how you would react to these situations and work things out.

 

The best way to do this is to also have your partner answer this about you.  For each answer, share your feelings and thoughts and when there are differences in your answers, talk about how you would negotiate or deal with that type of situation. 

 

Our best interest is that you get to live a “happily ever after” and that you remain in love and together for the many, many years to come.  And to help you achieve this, we put together a list of 100 basic questions to share with your fiancee:

 

1.     Does he/she share some or most of your values?

2.     Do you share the same belief or faith?

3.     Do you like his/her family?

4.     Does his/her family influence your partner? If so, how much?

5.     How much of your time do you like spending together?

6.     How much of your time do you like spending with others, alone or just the two of you?

7.     Do you feel comfortable with big crowds or in intimate situations? If not, how do you work around the difference?

8.     Do you equally enjoy quiet time together or being surrounded by people? If not, how can you negotiate it?

9.     Is he/she romantic? Is that important to any of you?

10. What are her/his hobbies? Do you share the same or some of them? If not, how much time does each of you spend in your hobbies?

11. Is there an activity or hobby that you dislike about your partner or “vice versa”?

12. Do you want to have children? How many?

13. Does he/she have the qualities you would want your children to have?

14. Do you admire your partner?

15. Do you trust your partner completely?

16. Do you like his/her friends? 

17. How does he/she handle stress?

18. How does he/she handle frustration?

19. How does he/she handle anger?

20. How does he/she deal with disappointment and sadness?

21. Are you aware of your mutual talents and areas of opportunities?

22. How important is faithfulness to you?

23. Has he/she ever been unfaithful?

24. Would you be able to forgive unfaithfulness? What does unfaithfulness mean to you (kissing, intimacy, visiting clubs?)

25. How important is being told the truth?

26. Does he/she have a tendency to lie?

27. Is he/she a mature person?

28. Is he/she a responsible person? How important is responsibility to you?

29. Is he/she goal oriented? How important is this to you?

30. Is he/she proactive or passive? How important is this to you?

31. Who will take care of the house? How will you share responsibilities?

32. How will go to work? If you both will, how will you share the house work?

33. What do you both feel about child-care?

34. Is  a good sense of humor important to you? Does she/he have a good sense of humor?

35. Is he/she a clean person?  How important is this for you?

36. Is he/she an organized person? How important is this to you?

37. Is he/she fertile?  Is this important to you?

38. Does his/her family like you?

39. Is he/she financially stable? How important is this to you?

40. Does he/she have any debts? If so, how large are they?

41. Does she/he have a good credit history?

42. Does he/she want to move out of the city, state/province or country ever?

43. Does he/she like to travel? Is this important to you?

44. Does he/she like pets? If so, which ones and how many?

45. Does he/she have any allergies?

46. What medicines does he/she take?

47. Does he/she use any type of drugs or alcohol? How important is this to you?

48. Does he/she have any illnesses that could change or impact your life? If so, how will you deal with his this situation? Does he/she take care of him/herself?

49. What feelings does he/she have more difficulties controlling and dealing with?

50. What feelings does he/she have more difficulties expressing?

51. Is he/she a talkative person?  Do you talk alone, or do you have a conversation? How important is this to you?

52. Is there any “touchy subject” that he/she can’t talk about?

53. Is he/she an optimistic or pessimistic person?

54. What are your mutual expectations on marriage and your relationship?

55. What does marriage mean to you?

56. Is he/she ready for marriage or are there any doubts?

57. Are your friends happy about your marriage or do they see any “red alarms”?

58. What makes him/her lose his/her temper? How does he/she manifest it?

59. What situations show you that he/she is humble and which ones that he/she is arrogant?

60. Who has a stronger personality?

61. Who normally has the last word?

62. Is he/she a decision maker?

63. Do you feel proud about the decisions that he/she makes?

64. Do you both enjoy or dislike public affection?

65. What are his/her major achievements in life?

66. What has been the most difficult experience of his/her life? How did he/she deal with it?

67. Is he/she open to compromise when there are differences?

68. Is he/she a secure person? Are there any rejection feelings, low self-esteem or past issues that are still hurting your partner? How do you feel about this, and how do you deal with it?

69. Is he/she a leader or a follower?

70. Does he/she give money or time to charity? Is this important to you?

71. Does he/she volunteer somewhere? Is this important to you?

72. Are there any addictions?  How important is this for you and how do you deal with them?

73. Is he/she trustworthy? 

74. What topics is he/she most passionate about? Is he/she passionate about something?

75. What activities do you enjoy doing together and which ones separately?

76. What are your thoughts on spending money? Is he/she a spender or someone who saves?

77. Is he/she introverted or extroverted?

78. Does he/she waste a lot of time? What are the things that you consider a waste of time?

79. Is he/she punctual?

80. What do you like the most about him/her?

81. What is his/her favorite type of food, colour, music, dessert, activity, book, movie, tv show, etc

82. How important is the weight and physical appearance of your partner to you? If his/her appearance changed (even for medical reasons), what would you do and how would you feel about this?

83. Is there anything that you would change about your partner?

84. Is there any annoying habit that you would want him/her to change?

85. Do you like the way he/she dresses? Is this important to you?

86. Does he/she have any phobias or fears?

87. Does he/she have any unhealthy habits?

88. Does he/she smoke?

89. Does he/she enjoy cooking? Who will do most of the cooking?

90. Do you share the same view on food? When to eat, type of foods, junk food, organic food, favorite foods, eating in front of the TV, eating anywhere else other than the kitchen, eating left over food for a few days etc.

91. Has she/he ever been abused in anyway? How does he/she deal with this, and how do you help her/him?

92. Does he/she enjoy traveling? Where will you want to travel? Are there any travel limitations (denied visas, lack of passports, etc)? How often and for how long does he/she want to travel?  What type of travel does he/she enjoy (hiking, beaches, adventure, relaxing, cities, tours, camping?

93. What does he/she do to relax?

94. What are his/her political views? Is this important to you?

95. Is he/she an activist for any organization or group?

96. Has he/she ever been convicted?

97. How do you and your partner feel about: feminism, Abortion, homosexuality, racism, gambling, gun control, immigrants, organ donation, environment, astrology, God, praying, wife submission, children’s discipline, giving money/tithe to the church, sex before marriage, prayer, superstition, religion, going to Church?

98. Do you both get along with your own parents and siblings?

99. How do you feel about personal and home hygiene?  (taking showers everyday, brushing your teeth, shaving, using deodorant, cleaning the toilets and the house, sharing personal items, washing clothes and sheets, etc)

100.                How do you feel about your level of communication? Can you talk to him/her about anything? Does he/she have a good conversation with you? Does he/she listen to you? Does he/she understand what you say (empathy)? Does he/she make you feel important and cared for or ignored?

 

Download this list (pdf)




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